She's A Go Getter

It's My Year...

2009-09-17T07:09:00.001-04:00

Today is my 23rd birthday and I'm grateful to have made it! I recognize that we all tend to take life for granted whether it be waking up in the morning or arriving safely to our many destinations so to have made it through another year I am truly grateful. In my 23rd year of life I am making it my goal to be consciously purpose driven and great. The picture that I added to this post shows two great individuals that are the definition of hard work, perseverance, purpose, and success.....greatness at it's finest, and those are all expectations I've set for myself this year. There are lots of things that I've wanted to try, lots of places I've wanted to see, and lots of people that I've wanted to connect with and I plan on doing all that and more this year. 23 is MY YEAR TO GROW, SHINE, and most importantly DO ME!

As my blogger profile states, "I look forward to the ups, am ready to attack the downs, and enjoy myself no matter what."

P.S. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year! Ya'll will be on the adventure with me so buckle up :o) xoxoxo

Mr. Perfection...

2009-09-08T16:20:00.018-04:00

"He was what I wanted
Exactly what I needed
He was what I fantasized
He was what I dreamed...."

I saw this commercial for the first time yesterday and it's a perfect rendition of what I like in men:

When I watch that I see an aura of confidence, success, status, hard work, and I get an overall charismatic vibe. From the board room to the street corner...I like that. The problem that I find situations like this is that although women desire a "commercial man" as reflected in the Jay-Z piece above, they tend to complain about lack of cuddle time and the length of phone conversations without seeing the bigger picture. So ladies, be careful what you ask for and remember that in order to have a successful relationship with an all around man you have to have your own hustle and goals instead of riding his wave (hence Jay-Z marrying one of the most iconic women in the game right now who has her own order of business and probably doesn't have time to complain about a lack of time).
Men that possess all of the above reflected qualities are extremely rare, but I'm sure there are a few around. On the flip side, if you are "that man" then stay mindful of the woman in your life, but never stop grindin and "doing" for someone else because you will resent them later.

P.S. Excuse me while I cuddle up with my BP3 album and order 50's book xoxoxo

**UPDATE: Just came across yet another example of an all around man. From G-Unit to CNBC:

The Game...

2009-09-08T02:20:00.005-04:00

This post is going to be short and sweet and is only meant for one person and you'll know who you are. It' 2:20AM (EST) and I'm watching "The Game" season 3 online. It brings back a lot of memories, raises a lot of questions, and makes me think (for some reason watching this show makes me reflect on everything). Even though I don't know what you are up to you're still in my thoughts daily and here's the link for a website I found where you can watch all the season episodes...just like we use to: click here . To the rest of you reading this, maybe one day I'll share some Melanie and Derwin moments of my own, but for now I don't think so :o)

P.S. The youtube versions are the clearest and don't skip xoxoxo

Chillaxin...

2009-09-07T18:51:00.002-04:00

Labor Day is coming to an end and I must say that I enjoyed a day of nothingness! No emails...a little bit of homework...and 2 TV marathons (Real Housewives of Atlanta and The Game). I finally got in some "me" time outside of conference calls, deadlines, and busines trips and it was much needed. The thing that I kept thinking about the most is that I'm going to be 23 on the 17th of this month....23! I've been trying to reflect on the past year so that I won't make the same mistakes again and will improve on the new habits that are for the better. My personal theme for 23 can be summed up in this quote:

"Anybody can do just about anything with himself that he really wants to and makes up his mind to do. We are all capable of greater things then we realize."
~~Norman Vincent Peale

Self- improvement and establishing a clear vision for my life is my goal for 23 and I'm proud of that because some people don't get to this point until it' too late.

P.S. Introspection can be scary, but it' necessary to move forward...do it one day at a time, but most importantly just do it xoxoxo

"Ego"...

2009-09-02T00:25:00.003-04:00

When did putting on a facade become the cool thing to do? I've been noticing a disturbing trend lately that I want to share with you. More often I find myself running into people with great ideas and inspirations who fail to humble themselves to the knowledge of their peers in order to be successful. In order to avoid failure and unnecessary pitfalls one would be smart to listen to the experiences and advice of others who have "been there, done that", but in today's society people tend to put on an act to reflect an idea that is bigger than what they are in order to come off as influential movers and shakers in their industry. Simply put, I really hate this! You are what you are so there shouldn't be a need to be anything other than that.

As far as I'm concerned people can really erase their titles (VP, A&R, CEO, etc.) and let their reputations and actions precede them. I feel this way because a title doesn't define who you are, but instead is a mere label/representation of the responsibilities entrusted to you. In other words, just because you have CEO tied to your name doesn't mean that your company isn't a failure.

I think that it shows a high level of maturity and drive when a person can take the advice of their peers who are established in their respective fields. For example, if I know that a person is great in marketing and they offer me some tips, chances are that I am going to soak up that information like a sponge and apply it. The exact opposite is more common though and I know this from personal experience. I've tried to help so many people with so many projects, but because they feel that they know best I continue to watch their visions remain stagnant. I am at a point where I know how to humble myself and accept criticism and feedback, I even petition for it. Just like in order to be a leader you must first be a successful servant the same holds true with egos. In order to walk around like a big shot you have to humble yourself to the established heavy hitters.

P.S.
I walk like this 'cause I can back it up... I talk like this 'cause I can back it up... I can back it up, I can back it up...xoxoxo

It's Just Those Rainy Days...

2009-08-28T15:04:00.002-04:00

Today has been real chill and low key with a lot of unexpected twists and turns. Woke up to the pitter patter of rain on my window sill and followed the normal routine (check emails, voicemails, etc.), but spur of the moment decided to round up the troops and take a trip to IHOP. When I got back home and checked my emails I found out that I got another freelance writing gig with a big name publisher that is definitely going to be a great look for me! I'm learning each day to learn to be thankful for all opportunities that I'm presented with...especially in this economy.

In about an hour I'll be off to do an interview with music video director Mickey Finnegan for Street Report Magazine so I need to get myself prepared! I hope your weekend brings you lots of laughs, smiles, and memories :o)

P.S. Make a conscious effort to be thankful and never take anything for granted! xoxoxo

Can't We All Just Get Along...

2009-08-25T22:01:00.006-04:00

Is it just me or am I the only one who thinks people give way too much credit to "haters"? Please sit back, grab a drink (preferably non-alcoholic so you can make it through this post), and allow me to vent...

Being a person that's exposed to so many worlds on a daily basis I've learned that haters are valued differently on each level. From the music industry to corporate america and everywhere in between there are obviously haters present. To get the gist of what I'm talking about we have to first define exactly what a hater is. According to the Urban Dictionary a hater is "a person who feels anger and/or jealousy for someone who has succeeded in something they have worked hard for; a being who speaks badly,and/or takes negative actions in attempt to create problems for a successful person". Here's some of my Twitter Fam's definitions:

Dreamm @Go_Getter Someone not motivated enough 2 do what u do or even in a position to do it.Haters usually have an issue w/ any success of others

NerdAtCoolTable @Go_Getter I don't even now cuz that term is played out...lol...I'm sick of hearing it

christinallison @Go_Getter one word: envious

So with that said, in order to have haters in the first place you have to have some success under your belt. After all, you don't ever see wealthy people "hatin" on the homeless or people in happy relationships hatin on miserable single people. Lately, the thing that upsets me the most are the haters/borderline failures who have the audacity to project an image that they have a slew of haters...almost like they're trying to pull a Jedi mind trick. One thing I've learned is that those who actually have put in the work to be able to attract such a hateful following are the same ones who continue to walk in the shadow of humility, while the ones who are still trying to make it are putting everyone on their road to failure on blast as a hater.

In my opinion, everyone needs to chill out and have tunnel vision for whatever goal it is they're trying to achieve. If you're doing you then you shouldn't have time to negatively influence the hustle of the next guy. It's about time that we stop talking about haters and immerse ourselves deeply in our craft and our goals...we're not toddlers anymore.

P.S. If I don't support something that doesn't make me hater, it just means that either you and/or your movement sucks :o) Nothing personal xoxoxo

Inspiration vs. Vision...

2009-08-24T09:40:00.003-04:00

Happy Monday! I'm taking it easy today, but wanted to stop through and share a gem with you that I heard yesterday at church. Hopefully it inspires and encourages you the same way it did for me.

So at church we've been going through a series on vision. We all have hopes and aspirations and that's a great thing because without a vision a person is pretty much wandering through life aimlessly. The important thing that I learned though is that there is a key difference between vision and inspiration. Just because we come up with an idea or think of a master plan doesn't mean that we have to act on it at that very moment in time. When we are inspired we should let time pass in order for that bit of inspiration to transform into a solid vision. Think of inspiration like a movie trailer. We've all had some of our favorite shows interrupted by previews for a movie that doesn't come out for months...THAT is inspiration. Inspiration is just a glimpse of what is to come, but isn't the complete vision. Think of the vision as you actually going to see a movie in the theater that you saw the preview for.

I say that to say this, if together we learn how to separate inspiration from vision then there wouldn't be so many bootleg websites, flopped small businesses, or notebooks full of recorded failed attempts. Take the time to develop your sparks of inspiration into a vision that no one can come up against.

P.S. I keep a notebook full of my inspirations and maybe in due time they'll develop into something bigger..or maybe not, but I'm ok with that. Maybe you should try writing things down! xoxoxo

Do You...

2009-08-17T09:03:00.004-04:00

Lately, a lot of life changing events have been taking place in my life for the better. I came to a point where even though I was confidant in who I was as an individual I realized that my identity was lost in the goals and aspirations of those around me and that I in fact had no self-identity. Instead of just wailing in self pity or blogging about it I decided to take action! New home, new whip, and new materialistic things have been a result of my initiative, but in the end those things don't matter. What really matters are the new relationships (business/family), new ideas, and new forms of self discovery...things that will last a lifetime. The thing that I'm happiest about is my new freelance writing company. Instead of waiting around for a higher up to validate my God given talent I decided to go out on a limb and start something of my own and so far it's been a very successful venture. Speaking of which, I'll be interviewing Kid Cudi sometime next week for a major magazine so email your questions/comments that you have or just leave them as a comment on this post.

I have so many ideas and goals that sometimes I think that I'm crazy because there's no way that little me could achieve such big things, but when I watched "Making His Band" this week Sean Combs said something that I will never forget. What he said was that to be a winner and to be #1 you have to be crazy because if you aren't then you would never have the courage to embark on the journey in the first place. One thing about me is that I'm a hard worker and willing to put the time and effort in that's necessary. I still think it's funny when I hear the people around me refer to me as a a hustler because I work around the clock! In my young age I'm willing to sacrifice some things in order to make my dreams a reality. So with that I encourage you to finally start the research for that company that you've wanted to start, read up on your competition...do whatever it takes to DO YOU!

P.S. In all things keep God first...it's easier that way xoxoxo

TGIF....

2009-08-14T17:32:00.004-04:00

So I've been getting a few emails of dissatifaction since I haven't expounded on my leave of absence from this here blog :) I'll go into details about that on Monday, but in the meantime enjoy your weekend and take this song with you...it's my guilty pleasure...

*Mario's "Break Up" song was here..I took it down because it automatically played and that annoys me :o)*

P.S."Baby girl went AWOL;She used to be my soulja" Didn't mean to leave ya'll hangin like that xoxo

"Ignoramus"...

2009-08-13T18:58:00.004-04:00

Ignoramus* [ig-ner-rey-mus]: n., a person whose aura projects that of utter ignorance.

You know how they say when you take 2 steps forward it always seems like something happens to set you back? This goes to show that although my President may be black, ignorance is still present:

I'm still mad that I watched this...

*I made this word up so if you use it give credit where credit is due :-) xoxo

I Just Wanna Be “Successful”...

2009-08-11T21:11:00.004-04:00

Here's another short article I wrote. As always, enjoy and leave your feedback xoxo

I Just Wanna Be “Successful”

From Nickelodeon to Hot 97 by now the majority of us have come across Drake in some capacity, whether we like it or not. Anticipation built up for weeks prior to the release of his mixtape "So Far Gone" back in February and when it was finally released there were 8,000+ downloads within two hours and music fans everywhere gave it rave reviews across the board. Since then he has paved his way into mainstream hip hop and even dropped an official music video prior to the release of his freshman album. With the mainstream hit singles "Best I Ever Had" and "Successful" along with features on Fabolous's "Throw it In The Bag", Lil' Wayne's "Every Girl" and Jamie Foxx's "Digital Girl", Drake has invaded airwaves and television screens worldwide.

With "So Far So Gone" being the most anticipated mixtape of the year Drake was able to enter the music scene as an independent artist and sit back and watch the labels go to war over his signature on the dotted line with millions of dollars on the table. It may seem like Drake is hip hop's golden child, but in perspective he was only officially birthed into the culture on June 29,2009 when he signed to Young Money with distribution through another Universal label, Universal Republic.

While it's common knowledge that independent artists have a tendency to have more creative freedom and control over their music one must wonder if the Drake we have grown to enjoy and respect will be the Drake that we see later this year upon the release of his album "Thank Me Later". Although he's signed to a liberal label one still has to question whether or not the delivery, image, and message that Drake sends to his underground fans will be tainted by the politics that rule the music industry. This raises the important question of whether Drake has reached his peak or if he will he continue to rise to the top. What’s your say?

P.S. To be honest, every time I hear the intro to "Every Girl" or "Successful" (or any song Drake is featured on) I switch the station...I'm over it! Drake is the official poster boy for over saturation of the market...

Talent In A Box..

2009-08-02T23:38:00.003-04:00

*THE BELOW IS AN ARTICLE THAT I ORIGINALLY WROTE FOR A 3RD PARTY, BUT WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU. LEAVE YOUR FEEDBACK!

TALENT IN A BOX

T-Pain paved the way for the auto tune phenomena that has recently created controversy within the music industry. This is the argument that a music novice would have, but it couldn’t be further away from the truth. In light of Jay-Z’s release of “DOA” (Death of Auto Tune) hip hoppers everywhere are freely expressing their frustration with auto tune being used in nearly every track that gets spins on the radio.

Most people fail to realize that auto tune has been around for decades and its intentional use was for scientific, not musical, purposes. When applied to music, producers and engineers realized that the technology developed by Andy Hildebrand could be used to correct flat and sharp notes to create a more flawless sound. Although used for years prior, it wasn’t until 1998 that auto tune was put on a large stage and used in Cher’s single “Believe”. Years later Faheem “T- Pain” Najm comes onto the scene and his claim to fame is creating a unique space in music dedicated solely to auto-tune. T-Pain dominated this space so well that in 2007 he was featured on four singles in the top ten of the Billboard Hot 100 chart--- all features using auto tune.

As with any other trend, music artists from all genres began to release music with defined auto tune characteristics and the trend didn’t stay confined within the hip hop community. Artists such as Reba McEntire, Faith Hill, and Tim McGraw have all openly admitted to using auto tune technology. The clear benefit with the technology is that it guarantees a perfect vocal performance because it corrects pitch, but the clear disadvantage to any true music lover is that talent, or the lack thereof, is masked behind a machine.

Jay-Z, although very blatant with his message opposing auto tune, wasn’t the first artist to protest its use. In February of 2009 at the 51st Grammy Awards, the rock band Death Cab for Cutie protested the use of auto tune in the music industry by wearing blue ribbons. Hov undoubtedly got his message across on in a more clear-cut way on the 2009 Hot 97 Summer Jam stage and as with anything he does immediately gathered a following for auto tunes death.

Some people have indifferent feelings toward the robotic vocal effects created by auto tune, yet others automatically rule out artists who use it to be talentless. Where in this extreme median do you fall?

Pardon the Interruption....

2009-05-22T09:59:00.005-04:00

I hope everyone enjoys their holiday weekend. Let's not forget that Memorial Day is much more than a 3 day weekend that symbolizes that start of cookout season and summer. To many people, especially the nation's thousands of combat veterans this day, which has a history stretching back all the way to the Civil War, is an important reminder of those who died in the service of their country. During times of war and turmoil such as those that we are presently in, let's make sure to take a moment to think about all of those who are fighting and risking their lives on our behalf so that we may be free and safe.

Make memories and most importantly stay safe! We’ll resume back to the best selling novel that is my life on Tuesday.

What are your plans for the holiday weekend? Let's do a roll call for all those in the armed forces that may be a friend, family member, etc.!!!

I Am...

2009-05-21T10:08:00.005-04:00

I've never been interviewed before because I'm usually on the other side doing the interviewing, but Phella over at http://www.iamphella.com/ has started a great feature section on his site where yours truly is featured today. The "I Am..." feature on the site is a place to get to know people from all walks of life and is a big stride towards reviving true journalism instead of always watching YouTube clips. I really enjoyed the interview and it definitely wasn't full of the conventional questions that are normally asked.

Check it out here: I AM...Go Getter

No Disrespect...

2009-05-20T12:34:00.004-04:00

I was listening in on the “Strategy Room” earlier today and the panel was discussing the “Craigslist killer” with Attorney Gloria Allred. Allred’s view was that the owner of Craigslist should voluntarily apologize to the family of the young woman who was murdered and develop a system to regulate the services that the site offers. Her position is that it’s the responsibility of the website to filter killers, freaks, sex offenders, etc. I think that this stance is completely ludicrous and is a prime example of how Americans complain about rules and regulations only to want exceptions in situations like these. Personally, I think it is up to the individual to use their own judgment when posting ads and responding to people. Sure, the internet can be a dangerous place if not approached with caution, but the bottom line is that it’s up to the people who voluntarily choose to use it to make decisions that they feel suit their situation.

No disrespect to the 19 year old young woman who was killed, but had I been in her position I would have ~~died broke and lonely before posting an ad on Craigslist~~ taken a friend with me to the meetup which would be arranged in a very public place or taken it a little further and done a background check since her services would naturally attract those of a freakier persuasion. Allred’s rebuttal to that act of common sense is that no 19 year old is going to run a background check or ask questions because at that age people are naïve and still need to be protected. To that I say that the young lady was grown enough to advertise massage sessions on Craigslist so she should’ve been grown enough to place her safety above the $400 fee for the service that she offered.

When I look back on when I was 19 I made mistakes, but they were all voluntary and I was always aware of the consequences of my actions. At that age I was in a position to be independent since I was in college 1,200 miles away from home and took that chance to grow into who I am as a person. The decisions I made back then were sometimes risky and dangerous, but I can’t honestly say that I wasn’t aware of every decision that I made and the various outcomes that were possibilities. I’m an open book so I’ll give an example…I knew at 19 that chillin at my friend’s house where the neighborhood drug dealers chilled at all the time could one day result in the police raiding the place and if they went down that I was going down too. Did that stop me from going? Nope. Did the house ever get raided? Yup, but thank goodness I wasn’t there.

Do you think that Craigslist should be regulated? Why or why not? Is 19 old enough to process the potential danger of the internet?

Sent from my Sprint® BlackBerry

Mr. Harris VS. Mr. Vick

2009-05-18T22:32:00.004-04:00

Two African- American men convicted through the United States justice system for different extremes of injustice face varying outcomes. Let me introduce Clifford "T.I." Harris Jr. and Michael (Mike) Vick. T.I. was convicted on weapons charges while Mike Vick was convicted for running a dog fighting operation. Logically thinking, I would automatically assume that a weapons charge would carry more weight than running a dog fighting operation, but apparently the justice system feels differently. Yesterday one of the hot topics on a few sites that I frequent was how T.I.'s 366 day sentence would be reduced to a measly 2 months, meanwhile Mike Vick is carrying out his 23 month imprisonment/3 year probation sentence. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this picture? Why is it that buying guns illegally gets you less time behind bars than fighting dogs? I have a theory...

My theory is simple and fueled by race. T.I., a black man, was buying weapons illegally more than likely to protect himself from another black man. The justice system has proved through the years that it could care less about crimes committed against black people, especially black men; therefore, this was no big deal and just another crime of the rich and famous that lead to him being on the cover of magazines, landing a TV series, and performing on a farewell tour. When you flip the script with Mike Vick, another black man, harming "man's best friend" there's an outcry that causes him to lose his career and wealth almost overnight in the midst of protests and public bashing. The point being that when an interest of the majority is threatened they take offense and feel the need to serve out harsher punishments, but when a threat secures their place as the majority and proves the stereotypical behavior of the minority they reinforce the behavior with lighter punishments.

Bottom line, I think that it's ridiculous that T.I. is getting his sentence reduced. Weapons serve as a greater threat to the community at large than a bunch of dogs fighting one another in a controlled environment. I admit that my opinion may be a little biased due to the fact that I'm not a big animal lover, but despite this fact I find it hard to justify the court's decision in either case.

Do you think that T.I.'s sentence reduction is fair in comparison to Mike Vick's sentence? Why or why not?

Drama...

2009-05-14T17:38:00.004-04:00

Today I bought a notebook that I designated to be just for my ideas. My mind has been spinning 24/7 with new concepts and ways to do things and usually I just throw them in the Blackberry or make a mental note. Lately, there are so many that the time is long overdue for me to have a place where they can all be in one spot. This morning I began to think about something that's been on my mind pretty heavy for the past week. Before I can explain, here's a little bit of the back story....

I'm about to attempt to make an extremely long story short and sweet...About 3 months ago I made a connect with someone in the music industry to have them attend a showcase that some friends were having. Somewhere in between business calls, the business relationship went out the window and the line became blurry causing the relationship to be more personal. Not personal in the sense that we were "together", but in a way that whenever he was having issues he could feel free to call for my advice. This completely went against my better judgment, but it all started with me answering one question then the next thing you know I was on call around the clock. Eventually I realized that the situation was no good and cut off ties with him because (a) since I have a psych degree all the advice I gave were billable hours, and (b) the drama that was being dealt with was way too much for me. In the process of me helping "Drama", he told me about a business idea that he had. Great idea, but the execution of it was terrible so I gave him a few pointers and even volunteered to help. Drama was too much of a hot shot to listen to little old me so his idea continues to be stagnant and I doubt that it'll ever work at this point if he keeps going in the same direction. Here's the dilemma that I have: I know how to make his idea be successful, but don't know if that would be wrong of me to execute it. I told him exactly what to do, but because of who he is he refuses to listen. So, I'm thinking why not take the concept and develop it myself....

I took the dilemma I had over to my twitter fam and here's what some of them had to say:

@franklanzkie Why dont u go to him & suggest partnering up?....u be the woman behind the man & quietly run sh*t. U think Bill ran the White House? Nope...Hillary...
@mzinspiredmind You know what, I say go for it.
@DUMUSIC if your more serious and have a better plan put in place go for it. Its not your fault he slacked
@goldigold a good idea become a bad idea if you don't use it

What to do? Develop the idea or just move on from it? Why?

Guess Who....

2009-05-11T17:29:00.002-04:00

As I wipe the cobwebs off this blog give me a second to explain....BUSY,BUSY,BUSY! My life went from 0 to 60 overnight and I've been on the go ever since. On top of normal life, my grad school work load has tripled over the past month because after this degree is done I'm going for one more, but I'll give more details as that comes closer. Although this site has been neglected, my twitter page gets updated about 1,000 times a day so those of you who follow me over there know that I'm alive and well!

As far as the launch of the new site, all I can say is that I'm a perfectionist. At first I was just going to launch it and let it be, but after doing some research I noticed that the market I'm going to be entering with my concept isn't very competitive right now so I need to think it all the way through. Marketing plans, re-design, radio shows/podcasts, and web video episodes are just a few of the things that I'm getting together on top of everything else going on in life. Let's just say that when I launch the site, it's going to be bigger than I would have ever imagined! I don't care how long it takes as long as it's done right, but I'm aiming for early/mid summer so stay tuned for that....

Relationship/love life = non-existent, NEXT TOPIC...

I've run into some interesting characters in life since I last posted, so over the course of the next few weeks I'll be introducing you to some of the situations and people that I've come across and be asking for feedback so I know I'm not tripping with the opinions I've formed! Of course all names will be changed to protect the identity of the innocent, but I need to vent :-)

Thanks for hanging in there and look for me in a comments section near you because I plan on getting back on my blog hopping, but before I go I have a quick question...

What sites do you visit on a daily basis? List all the sites (including yours if you have one) that you can't go a day without checking out.

Staying Current....

2009-03-27T10:13:00.003-04:00

Today I'm going to share news stories that evoked some type of emotion in me this week:

Prescription Pain Killers, Chardonay, and a Baby

Deadly Traffic Stops and the NFL

Bailouts and Million Dollar Homes

Question....

2009-03-25T12:37:00.003-04:00

In an ideal world we would all probably be in healthy, loving relationships while at the same time chasing after our dreams. Is this realistic? In our 20's we are all trying to find a way to "make it" and set ourselves up to have a prosperous and successful future. This alone is a feat that sometimes seems impossible and I find myself saying that there aren't enough hours in the day to even attempt to accomplish this. So, if there isn't enough time in the day to have "me" time and take over the world, where does a relationship come in at?

"I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time."
Oprah Winfrey

How do you find the balance between life and relationships?

Random Thoughts...

2009-03-23T09:44:00.005-04:00

WARNING: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS A MIXTURE OF PERSONAL RANTS, FRUSTRATIONS, THOUGHTS, AND DREAMS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

- I'm tired of women who act like hoes complaining that they can't find a good man! Even worse, is a dude who sticks his thing in anything (phrase complimentary of Monica, "Love and Basketball") while simultaneously searching for wifey.

- Women aren't respected in the business world and I can see why. Most women are in such dire need of companionship that they always mix business with pleasure, therefore damaging the credibility of other women who mean business. Fellas, trying to spit game in the middle of a conference call or at the end of a meeting is no good. Business is business.

- Double standards should be thrown out the window even though I know that they will never be because they are built into our culture. At the end of the day, a hoe is a hoe, cheating is cheating, and triflin' is triflin' no matter what gender you are.

- Positivity is a powerful tool. Time to kick some of these pessimistic people out the inner circle.

- I want to be wealthy not rich. In order to do that I need to spend more time engaging in wealth producing activities.

- Why is it so hard for people to say what they mean? People are so worried about what others think about them that life eventually becomes one big facade.

- I'm tired of being politically correct about things.

Today is the beginning of the rest of our lives. Leave the past where it is and make each moment count. Write down the vision you have for yourself so that those goals become tangible realities. In the end, you are solely responsible for your destiny....don't put your fate in other people's hands.

This is an accurate depiction of what I'm on from here on out:

To be continued.....

Let the Madness Begin....

2009-03-19T14:56:00.004-04:00

March Madness! Today marks the beginning of the end of college hoops and it's a really exciting time. It wasn't until I was in college and began dating the only guy that I've had a serious relationship with that I started to really appreciate the game. When you get to see first hand how hard the players work and the dedication they have for the sport, you can't help but be appreciative of the competition. I remember a couple years ago taking a road trip from Tulsa to Sacramento when we made it to the tournament, but the year before that was the BEST! It was the first year my alma mater made it to the tourney in like 100 years so everybody was beyond excited. That game was in Dallas, so another road trip from Tulsa took place and there were 5 of us in 1 hotel room. At that point it didn't matter, win or lose, we felt like we made it.

Here is my best memory of college basketball at my school: November 15, 2006. All day it was pretty quiet around campus. The bus full of Golden Eagle fans was set to leave before my classes for the day were done, but I didn't really care because this was a big day and class would be there when I got back. Everyone boarded the bus and we were on our way. It was tradition that on the bus we would watch re-runs of past games on the TV screens to get pumped up. We had a four hour drive so everybody got comfortable and I threw on my headphones and took a nap. All of a sudden I felt the bus stop, only to find out that it had broken down. Eventually a new one came and we switched and continued on our journey. Being that we made plans to be at the game extremely early there was a pit stop at a buffet before we made it to the arena. Everyone laughed, talked, and had a good time. Then a few minutes later, we arrived at Allen Fieldhouse, home of the Kansas Jayhawks. Of course we came in the underdog and nobody expected much out of our team, but that night we came out victorious! I was court side and the place was packed with KU fans, with about 30 of us reppin for the Golden Eagles. They talked trash the whole game, but towards the end they got extremely quiet. When the buzzer went off and the scoreboard read 78-71 the feeling was surreal. We had just beat the team everyone considered to be the best. Jumping up and down, feeling like it was a dream, I started calling people, people started calling me, and everyone was in shock! Feel free to read about it here.

College basketball brings a sense of nostalgia for me when I watch because the memories come flooding back of me being ride or die for my team. Making posters, wearing the players jerseys to the games while all the other chicks were dressed to impress, countless hours on the road to see them play, the road to March Madness when it would be teachers vs. the team, and the list goes on. Memories of the wins, the losses that hurt the most, the personalities of the guys that I knew, watching the coach turn red and get tech's on the sideline are priceless. Most of all being able to see the effort that the team had to put in to produce a result gave me first hand lessons in discipline and dedication.

What's your favorite sport? Do you have a memory that you'll never forget?

Taboo...

2009-03-18T08:27:00.003-04:00

Sex has always been considered taboo. Most people are uncomfortable discussing it, but have no problem doing the deed. Perhaps that's why the statistics tell a story filled with horror, fear, and ultimately death. Two days ago the Washington Post printed an article that has the country in complete and utter shock. Many other news sources then took the baton to put on a world stage what makes many people uncomfortable.

HIV/AIDS is not a new disease here in America. At the end of 2003, an estimated 1.1 million people in the United States were living with HIV/AIDS, with 24%-27% undiagnosed and unaware of their HIV infection. For a a disease to be considered an epidemic in a given area the rate of cases has to hit 1%. In D.C., 3,000 out of every 100,000 people are infected with the virus. This raises the rate to 3%, which according to Shannon L. Hader, director of the District's HIV/AIDS Administration, raises the rates higher than West Africa. 76% of those with HIV/AIDS in Washington, D.C. are black and 70% are men. Hader also notes that the mode by which the disease is being spread is on the rise in all categories-- heterosexual, homosexual, and drug relationships.

What is most disturbing about these preliminary statistics is that they are only a reflection of people who have taken the initiative to get tested. Out of the 550,000+ people that live in D.C. studies are only a reflection of about 70,000. That means that there are hundreds of thousands more who are living with the disease, but just don't know it. In this case ignorance is not bliss.

No matter where you live, it's important to know that HIV/AIDS is running rampant and there is no one to blame but those who engage in sexual behavior irresponsibly. It is up to us, to protect ourselves. The government has provided the resources for people to get tested for free, get condoms for free, and get educated on sexual topics for free, but all of that goes to waste if people choose not to take advantage of the situation.

There was a time back in the day when penicillin was the cure all, but with the sexually transmitted diseases in this era most are incurable and people have to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Protect your life by any means necessary. ~~After researching the topic, celibacy sounds real attractive.~~ Although it's not healthy to live in fear, contracting HIV/AIDS is something that can be avoided. If you have to have sex with a person why not take 20 minutes to go to the clinic together and get tested. 20 minutes is a lot less time than your whole life. If you choose not to go to that extreme, be constantly aware of your status. Don't be afraid to ask your partner questions! When you lay down with someone you are automatically putting yourself at risk so you have the right to know what you're getting yourself into. After getting tested, you get an official document with your status on it. Don't be afraid to ask to see that piece of paper, it's your right.

HIV/AIDS has no respect of persons. It crosses all races, ages, genders, and lifestyles. It doesn't have a face and if you know more than 10 people then chances are you know someone with HIV/AIDS. Sex is meant to be ~~enjoyable~~ an intimate joining of two people, but it isn't worth risking your life for.

Laws of Attraction....

2009-03-17T12:22:00.004-04:00

Have you ever been approached by someone of the opposite sex who is clearly interested in you, but you aren't attracted to them? How about being attracted to someone who isn't sending clear signals as to whether they are into you or not? We have all been on both sides of the fence at some point in our life.

To start with the obvious, physical looks matter, no matter how much people say they don't with the fear of appearing superficial. Most people try to front like as long as a person has a fantastic personality then physical attraction counts for nothing. That's a lie. Ladies, when you are in the mall and see a nice looking guy walk by is your first thought, "Wow, I bet he has a great personality?" I highly doubt it! Fellas, when you're watching BET and see the goodness that makes up a video vixen is your first thought, "Man, I bet we like the same kind of books?" I doubt it!

Females get approached all the time by guys who they are aren't really feeling on a physical level, but you would never know it because usually instead of acting repulsed we tend to say things like "I'm in a relationship" (even when we're single), "I don't have time for dating", or the infamous "Sorry, I'm in a hurry". In high school I had no problem being blunt and telling guys right away that they weren't my type, but it seems that the older I get the less people are open to hearing the truth. I'm sure guys get propositioned by women they aren't attracted to, but I'm not as familiar with that aspect so fellas please share, what do you do when a female who isn't aesthetically pleasing approaches you?

The physical layer is the first dimension of a person that we have complete transparency with. It's the first thing that we see, therefore being the first thing that we can establish a connection with. For one party to approach another, there has to be something there that is intriguing and pleasing to the eye.There are exceptions to every rule though because even the most beautiful person can have the most bland or unattractive personality, which in turn diminishes the impact of their physical beauty.

“It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.”

What initially attracts you to a person? Have you ever been approached by someone who you weren't physically attracted to? Have you ever been physically attracted to someone, but the personality/attitude didn't match up? What did you do?

Stay tuned for #2....